As an adult, pre-children, I loved bedtime. Getting to snuggle up in bed and go straight to sleep. Comfortably with no interruptions. The earlier the better too. After a long day of work, the thought of getting to go to bed and sleep flooded me with happiness. It was the best! But when I had children that all changed…

When I say to my children ‘It’s bedtime’, they hear something completely different. For some reason, they hear ‘it’s time to have a rave and stay up all night’. Bedtime when you have children is not the same. They say to choose your battles, but bedtime is a battle that you have to pick every night. No matter how much you do to plan, prepare, and face the challenge, the battle of bedtime is one that we all must face. Every. Single. Night.

So here are my five steps to bed, to help smooth the process:

1. Accept defeat. Bedtime is a battle that is long and testing. You won’t win, so accepting defeat early is the best hope to maintain your sanity.
2. Time management. Give yourself a huge chunk of time. Some people say 30 minutes, but so as not to get disheartened a realistic timeframe should be 3-4 hours, if not more.
3. Dress appropriately. I recommend exercise pants and running shoes. You’ll be up and down the stairs a record number of times, so dressing appropriately will save uncomfortable chaffing.
4. Warm up your vocal cords. You’ll need to answer a number of questions, everything from ‘Why is the sky blue?’ to ‘Where is my stuffed toy that I haven’t seen for over two years and I suddenly can’t sleep without’. So your throat will become dry and sore. Having water and lozenges at hand may also come in handy.
5. Tactics. Prepare for any tactic that your children may throw your way. They’ll claim broken limbs and starvation. Nothing is out of the question, so be prepared.

The truth is no matter how bubbly the bath is, how many sleepy time stories you read or if you spray enough lavender to gas the hulk, bedtime is and may always be a battle.

But after the fifth trip to the toilet, the fourth glass of water, the third bedtime story, the second lullaby and the last final kiss goodnight, they will close their eyes and they will drift off into a slumber. Finally, they are asleep. Looking so calm and peaceful that you forget the all-mighty battle that you just went through. Seeing them sleep fills your heart with such happiness and you realise it’s all worth it, every second, and you’ll do it all again tomorrow. 

And with a full heart you finally head to bed yourself. 

After all….it IS bedtime. 

A humorous take on putting children to bed, written by a mother of two and our Manly franchisee Hannah Fearne.